You’re Not As Important As You Think You Are…
And what a relief that is!
I’m always amazed by how much I believe other people care. I’m equally amazed by how much other people believe *I* care. I remember my friend being completely flustered when she wore mismatched shoes by accident. She *knew* the whole world was looking at her through a microscope, waiting to point her every flaw. No one noticed. Or if they did, no one cared.
We’re often preoccupied with the opinion of others, imagining their hawk-like gaze on our average life. If allowed, this fear can be a powerful motivator and the compass behind our every choice, which can lead to disastrous consequences. Our need for validation collides with a total external obliviousness.
Then, despite the lack of evidence, why do we think we’re so important?
The Need to be Important
When humans were prey and not yet at the top of the food chain, our survival depended on belonging to a tight-knit, small social group.If you wanted to remain a part of that group and continue enjoying the protection it provided, you needed to be perceived as valuable.
Today, even though we’re no longer running away from saber-toothed tigers at comical speeds, the need to feel valuable still persists. Social media thrives on and inflates this human flaw, cajoling us to update our status to remind everyone that we exist and that we matter, allowing their likes and comments to become the social validation we so intensely crave.
When we feel our value slipping away from us, we become irrational, emotional, and impulsive. Therefore, we’re constantly looking for external validation, and we want to *believe* our life is as important to others as it is to ourselves. It is not. Since everyone is running the same outdated software, we’re all so focused on ourselves to the point where it makes it nearly impossible to focus on anyone else with such laser-like concentration as the one we apply to our own life.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.” — Steve Jobs
The Upside
In no way should this sadden you or make you feel worthless. In fact, it should have quite the opposite effect. Knowing that no one is looking is a tremendous dose of freedom that allows you to make your life your own without burdening yourself with the constant need of external approval. It means you’re allowed to make as many mistakes as you need to grow. It means you can fail, and get up again unashamedly.It gives you the freedom to be whomever you wish to be precisely because no one is looking. Stop carrying the gigantic imaginary burden of the opinion of others, and reclaim your life.
