Control Your Ego Before It Controls You

“…the ego clenches because its existence is defined in terms of control.” ― Terence McKenna

Getting rid of the ego seems to be what’s in right now. Everybody is doing it… or trying to. Doing away with the ego promises to solve all your modern problems, so why not get rid of this pesky little *thing* we call the ego?

According to many sites, getting rid of the ego is the first step to happiness. So get going!

But before we get rid of it, we really need to know what it is.

What is the Ego?

Ego and awareness cannot coexist. Self aware people can see through their ego. They can recognize its voice when its talking to them, when it’s criticizing them, or when it’s exalting them beyond acceptable proportions.

“Damn, Steve. You’re so smart. You’re smarter than every one else in the entire world. Everyone is just a gnat compared to your abilities.”

Shut up, ego.

“Oof, Steve. You screwed up in the most spectacular manner. There’s no place for you in society anymore. Do the world a favor and. disappear.”

Shut up, ego.

On the other hand, people at the lowest levels of consciousness are not even aware of the ego’s existence, and are therefore forever condemned to be enslaved by it.

Notice that the ego is neither good nor bad. The ego is simply a manifestation of your lack of self-awareness.

“Make your ego porous. Will is of little importance, complaining is nothing, fame is nothing. Openness, patience, receptivity, solitude is everything.” — Rainer Maria Rilke

The Ego IS Selfish

Much like that terrible Tinder date, your ego does not care about your happiness or your peace of mind. Its main interest is its survival. It always wants MORE. More things, more fame, more wealth, more of everything. It is never satisfied with what you have to offer, which is the reason it is always making you feel inadequate.

The ego lives through comparison. If you’re not better than Sue, then you don’t deserve a place in the world. And once you’re better than Sue, you better prepare engines to be better than Monica.

Since there will always be someone to compare yourself to, your ego will never rest.

The Impact of the Ego on Your Emotions

Your ego wants you to hold on to things, especially those things that reinforce the ego’s identity. And as we know, the stronger your attachment, the more you will suffer once you have to let go.

In order to experience less negative emotions, you need to let go of your excessive attachment to things people, or ideas. You need to become more self-aware of the story you tell yourself everyday. After all, the way you perceive the world is almost entirely dependent on the story you tell yourself day after day. And your emotions are also almost entirely dependent on that story. As you replace your current story with a more empowering one, as you become more self-aware of the why hidden behind your feelings, you’ll start experiencing more positive emotions.

In short, the ego is neither good or bad. It’s simply lack of self-awareness. Don’t try to get rid of it. Instead, become self-aware so that it will slowly fade away and leave on its own.

Happy living!



I’m always curious, always looking for something new to learn, using life as a learning canvas.

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Gabriella H.

I’m always curious, always looking for something new to learn, using life as a learning canvas.