5 Ways to be Selfish and Happy

Photo by Jonas Kakaroto on Unsplash

Learn to Say No

This is first on the list because even though we KNOW we cannot say yes to everything and everyone, we still try, and this often leaves us exhausted and hating life.
I know you want to be Superman for your family, but you were not granted those awesome genes, so you’ll have to work with what you have. And what you have is limited strength, availability, and time.

Love Yourself

A sacred text respected by millions of people around the world provides this wonderful insight:

Pursue Your Interests

A big part of loving yourself means doing what you like. Do you like to read? Set time aside for that. Do you like play Sudoku without having to sit on the toilet while you do it? You do you, boo. According to research, hobbies are a great way to manage stress. A survey conducted by the Australian Psychological Society found that 4 out of 5 participants found that simple activities like listening to music and engaging in hobbies were moderately to highly effective in managing stress. New Zealand scientists also found that the wellbeing derived from engaging in hobbies can last until the next day.

Set Limits

Because a lovable and altruistic person such as yourself is such an easy target for toxic people, you must learn to set limits. You are not always available to help sometimes simply because you don’t want to. Here’s a secret: you don’t have to have an excuse for not helping. You can simply say no, and leave it at that. If a person is expecting you to be altruistic toward them they’re the ones being selfish. Don’t let them label you as such simply because you’re setting limits.

Stop Looking for External Validation

One of the reasons some may feel the need to be constantly altruistic is because they dread the “selfish” label. They avoid it like my dog avoids baths. They rather exhaust themselves granting the wishes of others, sometimes over their own well-being, because they don’t want to be considered selfish.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Gabriella H.

Gabriella H.


I’m always curious, always looking for something new to learn, using life as a learning canvas.